Can You See Them ? The Stars
by Dieithryn
Summary: "Love drives you mad, MI6 too. But maybe Q and James were mad before that." Skyfall-verse. 00Q. Rated M for deathfic. No spoiler for the movie. OS.


Hm, hello. This is my first time publishing a story in English ('cause I'm French ...). It's a translation of one of my fic : "Peux-tu Les Voir ? Les Etoiles" which is my first 00Q so I guess this can be considered as my first 00Q too ... I usually don't write in English because it's not my first language which makes it difficult for me to write in it, even if I mostly read English fanfics (and I read a lot of fanfics ...). The main reason I decided to translate this one is because sometimes (very often), I think in English. And when the words came for that, they first came in English.

The translation is mine and I don't have a beta so ... Well if there are mistakes (and I'm sure there are), please feel free to correct me.

WARNING : This is a deathfic. And it may appear to be OOC but in my head there is a background story that fits (well, I guess it fits). I don't really plan to write a prequel but if people (but not just two) want me to, I will. If you can read in French, please read the original fic and feel free to compare et criticize my translation ... It means a lot to me because I'm pretty sure I've done a really shitty job on that ... Also, no slash but established kind-of-relationship between Bond and Q.

Disclaimer : James Bond and Q belong to their rightful owners, but the story is mine.

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"Can you see them?"

"What, Q?"

"The stars."

James sat next to the lying form of the Quartermaster. They were on Q's building rooftop.

"Yes, I see them."

"Don't they make you want?"

"Want what?"

"I don't know. When I look at them, sometimes, I want to join them, explore them. Some nights I think about the stories my mom used to tell me when I was a kid, before going to bed, and I would like to be part of them, of those stories."

"What stories, Q?"

"She used to say that each star is the soul of a beloved one gone to heaven. Some were extinct, because they were forgotten. The other ones are watching over us and are ready to welcome us when the time comes."

Silence fell around the two men. James was catching his breath at the sound of his Quartermaster's voice. He had sought for him all day long.

"Sometimes, I tell myself I'm ready to join them, James."

Bond lay down on the cold roof, pressing his body to Q's. His right leg was hurting him. That's what happens when you take a bullet.

"It would be easy for me to do it. I have a gun. I think about it, sometimes, I take it in my hands; I put it against my temple, to feel its coldness. I hold my breath; I put my finger on the trigger. I even press it. But I never take off the security. Sometimes, I keep my eyes open and I stare at the wall or my desk, sometimes I close them and focus on the picture of you that appears to me."

"Q …"

"You know why I do this don't you?"

"No."

"I'm getting used."

Bond turned his head towards his lover, surprised by his answer. He watched his calm and relaxed face that he knew was just a façade behind which was hiding a great pain.

"I'm getting used for the day you'll get yourself killed during a mission. But also for the one when you'll stop coming back to me."

"Q …"

"It's enough for me, you know, what we have, the crumbles you agree to give me. You're mine a few hours every week; I've got your body, failing to have your heart. And even if it hurts, it's enough for me. You'll never be completely mine, and I respect that. But the day there will be nothing left of you I'll be able to claim, I will not survive it."

James returned to look at the stars. He understood.

"I love you, Q."

This time, it was the young Quartermaster who was surprised.

"And I'm yours."

He turned his face, frowning.

"Why are you telling me this, James?"

"Because I mean it."

"You never said it before."

"I didn't feel like I needed to."

And today, more than any other day since their first meeting, he had felt the need for his lover to hear it. He had thought him lost, kidnapped, drowned in the Thames.

"Do you really mean it?"

"Of course."

"It's not only to calm down my suicidal thoughts?"

James turned himself and leaned on his hands to place his head above the one of the man he loved. He held his gaze, blue against green, to show him all the sincerity that lived in him.

"I don't want to lose you, Q."

A hand fondled his cheek gently, the thumb drawing the outline of his lower lip.

"I live in the constant fear of seeing you die, James, and find myself at the other end of the earpiece, useless and powerless. I don't want to find myself alone, without you."

"So there is only one solution left to us."

James stood up and helped Q on his feet, taking him in his arms to share a kiss. A last one. He pulled out his gun from his holster, never letting go of the eyes before him to look, and brought it to his right temple. Q's lips stretched into a smile and he mirrored his actions, taking the gun he had brought with him. Bond picked Q by the hip with his free hand and hold him tight against him, his lips brushing against Q's. They were smiling. Keeping their eyes open, their smiles widened and in a second, it was over.

FIN

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Well, I hope you liked it ...

Dieithryn


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